[TV Review] Worldwide – 1.5.91

wcw worldwide

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Dutch Mantell

Worldwide is the third (!) of four (!!) shows to air on Saturday from WCW. Granted it’s syndication so it did probably vary from area to area but I’m going with the stuff I’ve seen on the internet and the internet never lies to me. Main event is, uh, Ricky Morton vs. Bobby Eaton but not the one from Power Hour. In fact it turns out the Power Hour one was from two weeks ago and originally aired on Worldwide. WCW continuity is going to drive me crazier than I already am, can’t wait!

The Lineup

  • The Master Blasters vs. Pablo Crenshaw & Todd Brewer
  • Dutch Mantell vs. Dave Johnson
  • Wrestling Wrap-Up w/ Gordon Solie
  • Tom Zenk vs. Tim Hughes
  • The Big Cat vs. Jamie McKinnon
  • Ricky Morton vs. Bobby Eaton
  • Michael Wallstreet vs. Scott Sadlin

*****

Your hosts for the first Worldwide of 1991 are Tony Schiavone and ‘Dirty’ Dutch Mantell, both making their second appearance of the day on WCW programming. I feel a little deja vu coming on as the main event is announced: Ricky Morton takes on Bobby Eaton. They just had a match earlier in the day on Power Hour but this one is completely different. Huh.

The Master Blasters vs. Todd Brewer & Pablo Crenshaw
The Master Blasters were WCW’s attempt to create a new Road Warriors team following the original’s departure the year before. It, uh, didn’t exactly work. Match starts and we get some pre-recorded comments from the Blasters who want a shot at The Steiner Brothers’ U.S. Tag Team Championship. Crenshaw tries to mount some offense but Steel quickly puts an end to that by interfering. They hit Crenshaw with a double back-elbow and Steel follows up with a body slam that looks more like a body throw. Mantell says he’s going to be wrestling next as Brewer tags in to take his licks. Blade easily picks Brewer up and drops him like a sack of potatoes, then Steel tags in and goozles him to the mat. Blade tags in and they finish him off with a double three-point stance for the victory. Master Blasters predictably dominate here but their finishing move is super lame. A double shoulderblock? Boo-urns. (2:16)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Cut to a promo from Michael Wallstreet and Alexandra York. York doesn’t want to divulge their secret to success but does say that Wallstreet’s stock will continue to rise throughout 1991. HA, STOCKS, GET IT? WALL STREET.

‘Dirty’ Dutch Mantell vs. Dave Johnson
Mantell takes advantage right from the start with a powerslam and snap suplex. Johnson’s got a singlet tan and it’s hard not to stare at it. Schiavone points out how hairy the back of Mantell is in case the viewers are blind. Johnson tries to mount a comeback but runs right into a boot so that’s the end of that. Mantell drops Johnson with two short-arm clotheslines but pulls him up each time to do more damage. Johnson attempts a dropkick but misses and for some reason it damages him beyond repair. Never understood that about wrestling. Mantell toys with Johnson some more before finishing him off with a running elbowdrop. That happened. (3:33)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Segment Time: Wrestling Wrap-Up
Gordon Solie is standing by with Sting, who’s still champ coming out of Starrcade 1990. Solie asks Sting how long it took him to realize The Black Scorpion was Ric Flair, Sting says he knew the moment they locked up. Solie segues to the Scorpion and the Horsemen attacking Sting at the end of Starrcade 1990. Scorpion is revealed to be Flair at the very last second. We cut back to Solie and Sting. Sting says he plans to keep the World Title for a long time and if Flair wants it he’ll have to beat him one-on-one. Mediocre mic work from the champ, who seemed like he was rambling the whole time trying to find his point.

‘The Z-Man’ Tom Zenk vs. Tim Hughes
This match was taped before Zenk won the Television Championship so he doesn’t have the gold with him. Mantell rejoins Schiavone on commentary, the former throwing brief shade at Brian Pillman. Zenk is in control as we go to pre-recorded comments from the man himself. He promises to be a fighting champion. Hughes bails to the floor after taking a dropkick to try and kill Zenk’s momentum but it doesn’t. Hughes escapes a side headlock with a wristlock but Zenk easily flings him off. Hughes complains of a hair pull but his hair is too short for that to be feasible, that cad. Zenk goes for what seems like either a leapfrog or Thesz Press but miscommunication just makes it look awkward. Zenk connects with a superkick and finishes off with his goofy-looking missile dropkick for the victory. Ugly stuff from the Television Champion but to be fair it wasn’t entirely his fault. (3:51)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

The same Anderson/Windham promo from Pro airs.

The Big Cat [w/ The Motor City Madman] vs. Jamie McKinnon
Cat is feuding with U.S. Champion Lex Luger so we get some pre-recorded comments from the champ challenging him. Cat has been using Luger’s Torture Rack as his own finisher apparently. Cat’s buddy Motor City Madman looks like a goof and has a territory-rific name. Crowd briefly chants for Luger as Cat makes mince meat of his opponent, repeatedly stopping his own pinfall attempt so he can inflict more damage. Cat, a big man, sends McKinnon to the floor with a standing dropkick then slams him on the floor. Nice agility from the big man but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised since he’s being called a cat. Cat connects with a powerslam off an Irish whip then slaps on the Torture Rack for the submission victory. The Luger/Cat feud I didn’t even know was happening continues! Cat looked pretty good here and definitely seemed more nimble than he would in later years under the Mr. Hughes gimmick. (2:59)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Schiavone and Mantell discuss the upcoming Morton/Eaton match. Apparently the match that aired on Power Hour earlier today actually happened two weeks ago on Worldwide. That explains why Little Richard Marley was still with The Freebirds, makes more sense than the nonsense Jim Ross has to come up with. Man it feels like all of these TV shows are operating in separate timelines. We then cut to a post-match interview with Eaton from two weeks ago, where he said he would’ve beaten Morton if he had five more minutes. Morton walks in on the interview and challenges him to a rematch. We’re a go.

Ricky Morton vs. ‘Beautiful’ Bobby Eaton
Can’t believe this is the main event of two different TV shows in the same day and they’re different matches to boot. This is going to be such a clusterfuck project to get through, I can feel it in my bones. Eaton tries to be a tough guy at the outset but whenever Morton goes to fight back he begs off to avoid punishment. Morton goes for a backslide but Eaton quickly kicks out and they reset. Eaton backs Morton into the corner and catches him with a Greco-Roman right hook to the jaw, begging him to get up and fight him. They trade right hands and Eaton falls to the floor. Dutch Mantell puts over his match from earlier as Morton traps Eaton in a wristlock. Both men try to pin one another with a roll-up but it’s not successful. Morton connects with a backdrop but runs into a powerslam and he takes his rightful spot as “guy who takes all of the punishment”. Morton falls to the floor, Eaton takes a breather waiting for his opponent to get to the apron. Morton counters a suplex but Eaton blocks a roll-up and flattens him with a clothesline, covering for a two-count. Eaton works over Morton’s left arm and both men collide off an Irish whip, making a sickening sound. Morton rams Eaton’s head into the top buckle and hits a flying crossbody but doesn’t follow-up with a pinfall. In come the Fabulous Freebirds to once again break up the match but without Little Richard Marley this time. Solid match overall, the run-in was expected given how the last contact shook out. (7:05)

  • Final Rating: **1/2

The Freebirds invite Eaton to pick the carcass like last time but instead Eaton attacks the Freebirds and helps Morton clear the ring. Morton is understandably confused but offers a handshake. Eaton decks him instead and leaves the ring. Bobby Eaton is the original Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Michael Wallstreet [w/ Alexandra York] vs. Scott Sadlin
Surprisingly enough Morton and Eaton aren’t the main event; instead we’re concluding the show with a Michael Wallstreet squash. Alexandra York goes over some stats on Sadlin from her COM-PEW-TOR via prerecorded comments. Wallstreet has eight minutes to be Sadlin, which should be easy enough if he doesn’t go full Rotundo and do extended ‘robe grabbing’ or ‘bailing out to the floor’ spots. It sounds like Sadlin is actually Sandlin but I’m going with what the WCW graphics said. The awful WCW graphics they never spellcheck. Anyway Wallstreet wins with the Stock Market Crash, six minutes to spare. (2:00)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Prerecorded comments air from Brian Pillman talking about his 1990. 1991 will be bigger and better. Next week on Worldwide: Sullivan’s Saloon debuts, Dutch Mantell will be wrestling, and we’ll be getting a video from Arn Anderson and Barry Windham. Arn is wearing his baseball cap backwards so you know he’s going to mean business.

Schiavone is standing by with Ric Flair, complete with the conservatively short haircut mandated by the infamous Jim Herd. Flair is ready to be a seven-time World Champion and puts Sting on notice. That’s it for this week.

*****

Final Thoughts: Morton and Eaton had a predictably good match but that’s about it for this episode. The Master Blasters are terrible and so is their terrible finisher. If you’re going to rip off The Road Warriors at least give them a Doomsday Device-adjacent move like the Hart Attack or something.

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