[TV Review] Pro – 1.12.91

wcw-pro

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko

Television gold is on the line this week as The Z-Man defends his championship against Moondog Rex. Yes a Moondog is getting a singles title shot on WCW TV. Crazy, right? Also on the show The Danger Zone focuses on trying to put over MinotaurArn Anderson & Barry Windham promise ‘legal’ violence, and Teddy Long cuts a promo for Doom with one Doom member missing.

The Lineup

  • Brian Pillman vs. Tom Burke
  • Vignette: Windham & Anderson
  • Sid Vicious vs. Mountain Man Bailey
  • The Danger Zone w/ Paul E. Dangerously & Minotaur
  • The Renegade Warriors vs. Jeff Sword & Mark Kyle
  • The Brickhouse Bonus
  • Tom Zenk (c) vs. Moondog Rex for the WCW TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP
  • Konnan vs. Barry Horowitz
  • Promo: Teddy Long & Ron Simmons
  • Michael Wallstreet vs. Scotty Williams

*****

Zbyszko has ditched his dad sweater from last week and replaced it with a tie-free suit that just screams mid-life crisis. Progress?

‘Flyin’ Brian Pillman vs. Tom Burke
Prerecorded comments from Pillman state his intention: to go after the World Heavyweight Championship. Wrong era man, sorry. WCW graphics spell Burke without the e at the end but that looks stupid so I’m going to assume that was a mistake by an overworked intern. Pillman is all offense to start, forcing Burke to bail to the floor to regroup. Pillman ducks a clothesline and turns a crucifix into a sunset flip for a two-count. Pillman spends too much time working over Burke’s arm with a hammerlock. Burke tries some chops but he’s weak and Pillman is only too happy to light his chest up. Dropkick and Air Pillman finish the Chicago native Burke off. (3:45)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Gary Michael Capetta hypes an upcoming Chicago house show at the UIC Pavilion. Main event is scheduled to be Sting vs. Ric Flair. About that time those two faced off. WCW also hypes their action figure line from Galoob. I have a lot of those figures; they have no mobility to them so they’re pretty much useless but that didn’t stop me from forcing my parents to buy them for me. I wasn’t going to be robbed off my big Sting/Spider-Man main event, dammit.

Vignette: Barry Windham & Arn Anderson
A black and white video airs of Barry Windham & Arn Anderson walking around a junk yard, weapons in their hand. Anderson says the most pure emotions are pain and fear, and Windham says they’re going to be telling nothing but the truth from now on. Anderson tells the WCW locker room to prepare themselves for Armageddon and we get some b-roll of taped fists and sledgehammering to show how super tough they are. Anderson says they’re going to keep it as violent as the law allows and no one is safe. Cool vignette and all but the whole “we’re going to get violent…but not too violent because we don’t want to be arrested” thing was a lame way to end it. Go all the way or don’t do it at all, man.

Sid Vicious vs. Mountain Man Bailey
Vicious proclaims Horsemen dominance in 1991 courtesy of prerecorded dominance, setting his sights on the United States Championship. Mountain Man Bailey is actually not all that shorter than Sid but that doesn’t mean anything as Sid lives up to his last name, ripping up the shirt under Bailey’s overalls. Bailey sells each forearm like he’s about to have a seizure and it’s funnier than it should be. Vicious puts Bailey out of his misery with the Powerbomb and covers his opponent with one hand to add insult to injury. Dragged out squash. (3:22)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Segment Time: The Danger Zone w/ Paul E. Dangerously
Dangerously goes into full hype mode for Minotaur, who makes stupid faces and screams a lot. Dangerously does a predictably great job trying to sell the fans on this goofball but sometimes you can’t turn shit into gold.

The Renegade Warriors vs. Jeff Sword & Mark Kyle
JEFF SWORD. Hilarious name. Zbyszko talks about how ‘Indians’ are known for natural coordination and built-in balance and I almost throw up in my mouth. Sword tags out to Kyle but suffers a similar fate to Sword, getting outwrestled by Mark Youngblood. Kyle bails to the floor and eats a dropkick off the apron courtesy of Chris Youngblood. Prerecorded comments air from The Renegade Warriors (they wanna win the titles, yadda yadda) as they pick up the win. K. (2:06)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Segment Time: Brickhouse Bonus
Legendary play-by-play announcer for the Chicago Cubs Jack Brickhouse is here to talk about The Steiner Brothers and how they remind him of an old German tag team (not in a Nazi way though, don’t worry). Brickhouse tells a story about one of those Germans tipping a car over after being honked at. I guess for Chicago fans this is kinda cool since Brickhouse was a legend in the area but to me this felt pointless.

WCW Television Championship
‘The Z-Man’ Tom Zenk (c) vs. Moondog Rex
Rex gets his own entrance music and everything. Killer. This is Zenk’s second televised defense of his championship, his first coming last week against a generic masked dude named Dr. X on World Championship Wrestling. Zenk welcomes all challengers in a prerecorded promo. Zenk floats over Rex and connects with a hip toss followed by a dropkick that sends Rex out to the floor. Zenk tries a side headlock takeover but Rex blocks it and counters with a back suplex. Rex drops Zenk face-first across the top rope after carrying him all the way around the ring trying to get in position. Rex continues the punishment but can’t get the three-count so he sends the champ out to the floor with a headbutt. Rex counters a backdrop with a knee and hits a spinning neckbreaker but Zenk gets his shoulder up just in time. Zenk drops Rex with a series of right hands and ducks a clothesline to hit one of his own. Zenk dodges a corner splash and connects with his always weird but in an endearing way Missile Dropkick to retain the title. Short and basic but it worked. Always cool to see a Moondog, I’ve been fascinated by the Moondogs for most of my life. (5:46)

  • Final Rating: *3/4

Legendary wrestling personality Lance Russell grabs a post-match interview with Zenk, showing him comments made by Bobby Eaton who guarantees he’ll be champion. Zenk says Eaton is a great wrestler and will face him anytime and anywhere.

Konnan vs. Barry Horowitz
A masked Konnan and wrestling’s greatest enhancement talent Barry Horowitz at the same time? Hell yeah. Konnan was part of the Pat O’ Connor Memorial Tag Team tournament during Starrcade 1990, losing in the semi-finals to The Steiner Brothers alongside partner Rey Mysterio Sr. Konnan pulls Horowitz down by the hair then flips off the buckles and takes Horowitz down again. Konnan shows off his lucha speed and submission move prowess, tying Horowitz in a Big Stretch. Horowitz shoves Konnan, Konnan shoves him to the mat. Horowitz manages a butterfly suplex and a legdrop but only gets a two-count. Dragon Screw legwhip by future WWE Hall of Famer (IF THERE IS ANY JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD) Horowitz but Konnan quickly mounts a comeback, hitting his trademark rolling clothesline. Following a senton he wraps Horowitz’s limbs around his leg and poses as the ref counts to three. Fun little match, nice showing from Konnan who…will have one more match in this run then make his grand mask-free return in 1996. (4:12)

  • Final Rating: *3/4

A video airs of Teddy Long and only Ron Simmons of Doom. Long has no fear of the Four Horsemen and is confident Doom will easily defeat them. Where’s Butch Reed?

Michael Wallstreet [w/ Alexandra York] vs. Scotty Williams
THIS GUY AGAIN. York announces on the house mic that Wallstreet will win in seven minutes or less. It may take almost seven minutes to beat a scrub like Williams? Says more about Wallstreet than anything else. Again I dig the gimmick but Wallstreet is dreadfully boring as a wrestler. York watches Wallstreet go to work while frantically typing away something or another on her COM-PEW-TOR. I don’t know what she needs to reassess, her dude is winning with ease. Stuff happens, Stock Market Crash, Wallstreet wins with less than five minutes to spare. (2:10)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

After another hard sell of the UIC Pavilion spot show coming up we go to closing statements from Schiavone and Zbyszko. Zbyszko puts over Flair and that does it for this week.

*****

Final Thoughts: Zenk/Rex was okay and I dug Konnan/Horowitz but nothing really stuck out.

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