[TV Review] World Championship Wrestling – 1.12.91

WCW SN 1991

Commentators: Jim Ross

This week on WCW we hear all about the big Meadowlands show, Trucker Norman tries to get revenge on Sid Vicious for making him even loopier than he already was following an attack, Konnan sorta does some lucha stuff, and Bobby Eaton puts his TV Title shot on the line in the main event against Terry Taylor.

The Lineup

  • Brian Pillman vs. Mark Kyle
  • Ricky Morton vs. Bill Irwin
  • The Renegade Warriors vs. The State Patrol
  • Post-Match Ringside Interview: The Renegade Warriors
  • Tom Zenk vs. Tom Burke
  • Post-Match Ringside Interview: Tom Zenk
  • Trucker Norman vs. Sid Vicious
  • Meadowlands Coverage: Luger/Cat, Sting/Flair
  • Konnan vs. Joe Cazana
  • Ringside Interview: Alexandra York
  • Rick Steiner vs. Jeff Sword
  • Terry Taylor vs. Bobby Eaton

*****

Jim Ross is flying solo on this week’s episode. We’re getting a complete Meadowlands report in the second hour but until then here’s some rasslin’.

‘Flyin’ Brian Pillman vs. Mark Kyle
Chain wrestling to start, Pillman rolls Kyle up but Kyle frantically grabs the ropes to stop the count. Pillman catches a charging Kyle with a pair of poots and goes back on the offense after a brief flurry from Kyle. Ross announces that the Clash of the Champions subtitle this month is ‘Dixie Dynamite’ in case you forgot how southern WCW really is. It’s set to be held at the Atrium at the CNN Center but that venue will end up being changed due to ‘security concerns’ related to Desert Storm. Not sure how that works but okay. Pillman finishes Kyle off with a flying crossbody in a squash that took way too long to conclude. (4:37)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Some commercials got left on this recording again. Twix parodies the ‘Day Bow Bow’ song from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off to sell its candy.

Ricky Morton vs. ‘Wild’ Bill Irwin
Bill Irwin is billed from Texas but he betrays that whenever he talks due to his heavy Minnesotan accent. Ref tries to separate the two and Irwin gets in a cheap shot but Morton quickly rebounds with a couple of armdrags and an armbar. Ross hypes the Arm Wrestling match between Paul E. Dangerously and Missy Hyatt, sounding like he’s holding back vomit when he calls them ‘fellow commentators’. Morton is the king of taking punishment so he ends up on the defensive as Irwin stomps him down and drops him neck-first over the top rope. Ross announces a Clash of the Champions match: Sting & Lex Luger will be taking on WCW Tag Team Champions Doom. That could be cool. Irwin stomps a comeback with a kick counter to a backdrop but can’t keep Morton down. Irwin laughs that he’s ‘got him’ as he wrenches in a chinlock, the crowd chanting ‘Go Ricky Go’ like we’re at the Sportatorium. Morton escapes but eats a suplex and Irwin gets a two-count. Irwin connects with a second-buckle elbowdrop, flying halfway across the ring, but his hubris gets the best of him and he decides not to cover. Irwin misses a flying splash and Morton takes advantage with a crucifix roll-up for the victory. Decent basic match-up here to put over Morton’s longstanding gimmick of being an underdog and also weirdly protecting Irwin as he had the match won but decided to get cute instead of make a cover. (7:27)

  • Final Rating: **

The Renegade Warriors vs. The State Patrol
Jim Ross announces that World Championship Wrestling will be airing on Sunday instead of Saturday next week, with a big 8-man tag team match between Sting, Pillman, & The Steiner Brothers vs. The Four Horsemen. That should be pretty fun. State Patrol try to double team Chris Youngblood but he flips out of it and the bumbling cop duo eat a crossbody from Mark Youngblood. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker escapes an armbar and tags out to Lt. James Earl Wright but he doesn’t fair much better. Renegade Warriors do that hand to mouth sound all of us ignorant white kids did growing up that’s actually super racist, but we’re in the south so it’s just a face thing to do. Mark Youngblood’s shoulderblockathon is stopped thanks to Parker and The State Patrol finally go on the offensive as Ross mentions they probably aren’t fans of Dances with Wolves. They’re not the only one, that movie sucks. Wright connects with a flying headbutt but Mark kicks out. Mark ducks a clothesline and hits Parker with a dropkick. Instead of making a tag he tries a couple of pinfalls but Wright breaks it up. The Renegade Warriors double pump kick Wright out of the ring and hit Parker with a double tomahawk (of course) to get the win. That was…whatever. Just whatever. State Patrol put up a good fight though; it’s going to be depressing to watch them put up less and less of a fight as they get shunted further down the card. (7:07)

  • Final Rating: *

Paul E. Dangerously is at ringside with the victorious Warriors to hype their COTC match against Arn Anderson & Barry Windham. Dangerously thinks they’re in a little over their heads, Chris Youngblood calls it a privilege to face them later in the month. Out come Anderson & Windham and a brawl breaks out. Anderson & Windham easily win that one because they’re a real tag team. After the Horsemen bail the Warriors recover quickly enough to huff and puff and yell barely audible nonsense.

‘The Z-Man’ Tom Zenk vs. Tom Burke
The lyrics to Z-Man’s theme are as follows: ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah’. Prince definitely wrote that one. The Center Stage ladies and kids love Zenk who controls Burke with relative ease using multiple armdrags and arm-related arm things. Burke gets in some basic big man offense but he’s not the Television Champion so it doesn’t last long. Zenk connects with a superkick followed by an enzuigiri, and finishes Burke off with the Missile Dropkick to get the victory. So the mysterious Dr. X got a title shot but established enhancement dude Tom Burke didn’t? The championship committee can go suck eggs. (4:33)

  • Final Rating: *

Dangerously is with Zenk at ringside. Zenk barely strings two words together before his COTC opponent Bobby Eaton interrupts. Eaton tells Zenk to spend as much time with the belt as he can because he’s going to take it. The whiny Terry Taylor then interrupts to continue his march to heeldom and says he deserves the shot, then tells Eaton he can beat him any day of the week. Eaton challenges him for later tonight and Taylor accepts, with Eaton’s Television Title shot on the line.

Ross segues into footage from the 12.22.90 edition of WCW where Sid Vicious attacked Trucker Norman who was handing out presents to the kids dressed as Santa Claus. Cut to comments from Trucker Norman who can’t think straight after getting sent into the ring post; the doctors said he shouldn’t wrestle anymore but he’s going to get revenge tonight for the kids. Oof talk about a storyline that wouldn’t fly in current day wrestling.

Trucker Norman vs. Sid Vicious
The production folks editing WCW don’t call him ‘Trucker Norman’ in the graphics like they did on Main Event but continuity is for pansies (I’m sticking with Trucker Norman, screw it). Sid gloats about attacking Norman and making the kids cry in his prerecorded comments. Lady in the crowd has a ‘Santa Norman #1’ sign and Ross says that the kids love him which isn’t a great takeaway from that since the lady was at least 40. As expected Sid is all offense right at the bell. Ross predicts that Sid will have a major singles championship in the next few months; if he means ‘will be gone from the company in the new few months’ then he’s right on point. Norman dodges a splash and gets some offense in, including a scoop slam, but misses a splash so that’s enough of that. Norman fumbles with a bottle of Asprin but gets sent right into the pole once again and Sid finishes him off with a legdrop for the victory. This sucked but at least it was short. (3:51)

  • Final Rating: 1/4*

Meadowlands Coverage Time
Ross narrates over some cut up footage from the big Meadowlands house show. Lex Luger defeated Big Cat in the Football Match even though Cat knocked him out of the ring first (ref didn’t see it). More importantly though Ric Flair defeated Sting to become the seven-time World Champion and, soon enough, the first-ever WCW World Champion. Flair bladed because of course he did. Sting had his foot on his rope but the ref didn’t see it and his pleas to the referee are no-sold. Suck it, Sting.

Konnan vs. Joe Cazana
Cazana slaps Konnan around all arrogant-like, so Konnan responds with pre-Mysterio Jr. lucha stuff. Cazana can’t keep up with the initial onslaught so not all of it looks good. Cazana hits a clothesline but Konnan no-sells it and awkwardly throws a dropkick in an attempt to make people forget about it. I never forget, Konnan. Cazana misses a flying elbow and it’s all Konnan from here, finishing him off with a Fisherman’s Suplex for the victory. Eh maybe years of much more competent lucha has jaded me a bit but Konnan trying to do things he was too big to do well was just awkward to watch. I’m sure Cazana also had no idea what the hell was happening. (2:56)

  • Final Rating: *1/4

Missy Hyatt is standing by at ringside with Alexandra York. York is willing to use her COM-PEW-TOR to help Hyatt in her upcoming arm wrestling match. Paul E. Dangerously interrupts and offers Hyatt a chance to get out of the match before she gets embarrassed. Dangerously says if she doesn’t back out he’s going to tell everyone how she got the job and how she keeps it. Hyatt is understandably hurt by this and stalks off sadly at being called a slut. Dangerously then tries to chew out York but in comes Michael Wallstreet and he’s all of a sudden super nice.

Rick Steiner vs. Jeff Sword
Steiner cuts a promo on The Master Blasters in his prerecorded comments. I didn’t know The Master Blasters were even on their radar given that The Steiner Brothers are currently feuding with The Fabulous Freebirds. Huh. Steiner busts Sword’s nose with a Steinerline and laughs about it like a big ol’ jerk. Steiner wins with a second-rope overhead belly-to-belly suplex. And that’s that. (2:04)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Terry Taylor vs. ‘Beautiful’ Bobby Eaton
Feeling out process to start but if we’re picking a winner based on hair then Eaton’s mullet wins by a mile. Eaton runs into a couple of scoop slams but kicks out of Taylor’s lateral press and Taylor settles into a wristlock. A backslide doesn’t give Taylor the win so he goes right back to work on Eaton’s left arm until a rope break forces him off. Ross promises more Meadowlands highlights on Main Event tomorrow but I’m pretty sure we’re just going to get the same exact footage. We’ll see. Both men try hip tosses but each one blocks until Taylor finally wins the tug of war, sending him out to the floor. He’s not going to get disqualified though because it was an accident, which Eaton isn’t happy about. Taylor clotheslines Eaton off the apron as we hear there are five minutes of TV time remaining in the match. There’s an NBA game coming up and since it’s the Atlanta Hawks and this is TBS that’s obviously more important. Eaton takes control with four minutes remaining, connecting with a neckbreaker and continuing work on the neck with a rear-chinlock. Eaton can’t get the victory after a clothesline so he goes right back to the chinlock, using the ropes for leverage behind the ref’s back. This goes on for longer than it should be considering time is winding down. So many chinlocks man, apparently Eaton doesn’t want to win. With one minute remaining Eaton goes for the Alabama Jam but Taylor crotches him on the top buckle and hits a middle-rope superplex. Taylor hits the Five Arm but time expires. Aw. Too many time-killing chinlock spots for my liking but this was the defacto best match on the show. Not a huge compliment but whatever. Taylor once again gets screwed out of an opportunity to challenge for the TV Title, which I’m sure will rub him the wrong way going forward as he slowly makes that heel turn. (8:49)

  • Final Rating: **1/4

Eaton and Taylor brawl as Ross quickly signs off so we can get to the REAL SPORTZ dammit.

*****

Final Thoughts: No memorable matches like last week’s show but it was a brisk hour and a half of wrestling, with some minor storyline continuances (Taylor’s slow heel turn, Hyatt/Dangerously). The Sid/Norman match that got hyped a whole bunch last week didn’t go four minutes and sucked but we all saw at least the latter coming. The Meadowlands report was pretty cool but you’d figure the announcement of a new World Champion would have been more..impactful. Them’s the breaks of taping your shows in bulk though I guess. Onto Main Event!

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