[TV Review] Worldwide – 1.26.91

wcw worldwide

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Barry Windham(?!?)

Bobby Eaton and Arn Anderson square off this week on Worldwide to determine the new #1 contender for Z-Man‘s Television Championship. Considering Eaton already has the title shot coming up at Dixie Dynamite this makes absolutely no sense but we’re gonna just go with it lest WCW’s incoherence start breaking me down psychologically.

The Lineup

  • Doom vs. John Faulkner & Greg Sawyer
  • Bobby Eaton vs. Arn Anderson
  • Michael Wallstreet vs. Larry Santo
  • Scott Steiner vs. Rick Ford
  • Lex Luger vs. Magnum Force Speedy
  • Sid Vicious vs. Brian Worley

*****

A snippet of an interview between Gordon Solie and WCW Tag Team Champions Doom plays, where Ron Simmons mentions he only cares about the title and not about all the riches, annoying partner Butch Reed and manager Theodore R. Long.

Tony Schiavone welcomes the home audience, alongside our special guest commentator for the evening Barry Windham. That’s, uh, random.

Doom vs. John Faulkner & Greg Sawyer
Windham is not surprised that Doom dominates this one right at the bell, but also doesn’t think they’ll be Tag Team Champions for much longer. Sawyer gets sent to the floor and Butch Reed slams him on the concrete before ramming his spine into the ring post. Reed has the cover but picks Sawyer up so they can continue the punishment. Faulkner tags in but doesn’t fare much better. Simmons connects with a piledriver and goes for the cover but Theodore R. Long tells him to let up because it isn’t time yet. Simmons keeps trying to win the match, Long keeps telling him to let up and he’s visibly annoyed. Finally Long allows Doom to win after a flying shoulderblock from Reed. Interesting story there with Long being a control freak and Simmons getting annoyed with it. Dissension in the ranks of Doom? (4:40)

  • Final Rating: EXTENDED SQUASH

#1 Contender’s Match (TV Title)
‘Beautiful’ Bobby Eaton vs. ‘Double A’ Arn Anderson
Eaton has a TV Title match already scheduled later in the week at Clash of the Champions so doesn’t that already make him the #1 contender? This doesn’t make a ton of sense but this should be a good match at least. Windham pulls a phrase out of the ‘generic commentator sayings’ hat and says this could be a main event match in any city. Anderson brings Eaton to the corner, Eaton decks him and out Anderson goes to regroup. Eaton doesn’t let up, connecting with another right to the cheers of the crowd. Anderson tries a clothesline but misses, eating nothing but post and giving Eaton a limb to focus on. And focus on it he does, mainly using a hammerlock. Anderson escapes with an elbow to the face but misses a corner splash and hurts his arm more. Back to the hammerlock we go with some knees for added discomfort. Anderson escapes and manages a picture-perfect spinebuster as we go to commercial. Back live Anderson attacks Eaton on the floor, hip tossing him and almost making him bounce off the concrete. Anderson locks knuckles with Eaton and tries to keep his shoulders down but the Beautiful One powers out every time. Eaton gets to his feet and takes Anderson down with a clothesline and applies a sleeperhold. Anderson escapes via Irish whip and slaps on a sleeperhold of his own. Eaton escapes and gets his knees up during a splash attempt. Eaton follows up with a neckbreaker and follows up with the Alabama Jam. Instead of pinning him Eaton goes for a piledriver, which Anderson counters with a backdrop. Eaton tries to win with a sunset flip by grabbing the ropes but Anderson slips out and uses the tights to roll-up Eaton for the win and the #1 contendership. Good match, I liked the finish where Anderson outcheated Eaton. There’s been no mention of Dixie Dynamite on this show at all, or any of the B-shows today really, and Anderson becoming the #1 contender when the man he just beat is actually the next guy up to get a shot is just…weird. There’s five episodes of TV from WCW every week and I feel like I keep missing storyline beats. Aren’t Anderson and Windham supposed to be focusing on Tag Team gold? Were those dumb legal violence black and white videos ultimately pointless? Trying to follow the stuff WCW is doing is going to drive me insane. (10:33 shown)

  • Final Rating: ***

Michael Wallstreet [w/ Alexandra York] vs. Larry Santo
York announces that Wallstreet will emerge victorious in less than 7:59. Wallstreet calls himself unbeatable due to the COM-PEW-TOR via insert promo. First minute is just Wallstreet taking his entrance suit off. No timer in the corner for this one, they aren’t even trying now. Santo manages a headlock but Wallstreet easily counters with a belly-to-back suplex. Windham says Santo won’t even have one offensive maneuver. A side headlock is an offensive maneuver but whatever. Wallstreet goes full Rotunda and slaps on an abdominal stretch while holding the ropes. Wallstreet has trouble picking Santo up, but eventually manages it to hit the Stock Market Crash, angrily stomping Santo in I assume a shoot moment before covering for the win. No celebrating after either, Wallstreet just books it from the ring like he’s pissed. (4:33)

  • Final Rating: DULL SQUASH

Scott Steiner vs. Rick Ford
Steiner is a monster who loves murdering enhancement talent, and murder Ford he does with various suplexes en route to a Frankensteiner for the victory. Simple as that. They actually mention his match with Ric Flair coming up at Dixie Dynamite via insert promo from Rick Steiner, but without saying the name of said event. (2:09)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Lex Luger vs. Magnum Force Speedy
Speedy gets announced as ‘Magnum Force #1’ despite having a name in previous appearances. Hell his name is written on the side of his tights. Way to be a jerk, Gary Michael Cappetta. Speedy gets some basic offense but Luger shrugs it all of us and poses to the joy of the crowd. Luger wins with the Torture Rack like he’s wont to do. (2:58)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Sid Vicious vs. Brian Worley
Bell takes forever to ring as Sid destroys Worley, who was looking worried as hell as Sid made his entrance. Power Bomb ends it in an under a minute. (0:48)

  • Final Rating: SQUASH

Sid’s unprofessional EMT team wheel Worley out of the arena, Sid throwing in one more forearm to add insult to injury. Sid then joins Schiavone and Windham for some post-match comments, saying every one he beats will be carried out of the ring. He also high fives Windham in Horsemen solidarity. Windham says the U.S. Title isn’t safe as Sid is after him and the belt. Episode over.

*****

Final Thoughts: Ignoring WCW’s usual incoherence this was a good episode of Worldwide this week, with a banger between Eaton and Anderson being the highlight. Also props to WCW for throwing a little storyline stuff with Doom at the outset, highlighting a potential rift between Long and Simmons.

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