[TV Review] Worldwide – 3.9.91

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

The World Heavyweight Champion is in action this week as Ric Flair takes on Tim Horner. Also on the show Alexandra York christens Terry Taylor with a new name, Brad Armstrong tries his luck with Barry Windham, and WCW continues doing a great job of hyping a non-televised house show that people outside of Georgia can’t actually watch.

Champion Roll-Call

  • WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
  • WCW UNITED STATES CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
  • WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson
  • WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW WORLD SIX-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog

The Lineup

  • Sting & El Gigante vs. The State Patrol
  • PROMO: Dustin Rhodes
  • RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Ric Flair
  • Dan Spivey vs. Tim Parker
  • RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Ron Simmons
  • The Young Pistols vs. Jim Boss & Pat Rose
  • PROMO: Ricky Morton, Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog
  • PROMO: Terrance Taylor, Alexandra York, & Mr. Hughes
  • Bobby Eaton vs. Terrance Taylor
  • RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Big Josh & Tommy Rich
  • Brad Armstrong vs. Barry Windham
  • CLIP: Nikita Koloff attacks Lex Luger (WrestleWar ’91)
  • VIDEO: Nikita Koloff works out
  • PROMO: Lex Luger
  • Tim Horner vs. Ric Flair

*****

-Show opens with MORE footage of Missy Hyatt’s failed attempts to interview El Gigante back in January, this time in the pool. No one gets electrocuted THANKFULLY.

-Schiavone and Solie quickly hype tonight’s show then we’re back to more Gigante/Hyatt footage, this time at that TOTALLY REAL RESTAURANT in Phoenix.

Sting & El Gigante vs. The State Patrol (Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker & Lt. James Earl Wright)

State Patrol try to attack Sting but Sting drops them with a double clothesline. Gigante tags in and drives Parker to the mat with the Iron Claw…and that’s it! COOL. Maybe Sting should pursue the Tag Team Titles with Gigante instead of Luger. (0:33)

“The Natural” Dustin Rhodes does his Dusty impression while hyping the Sting/Flair match on the Omni house show none of us get to see. He spells out “Natural” to end the promo. Thanks for the spelling lesson, sir.

-Schiavone is standing by at ringside with “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. MORE hype for his cage match with Sting that none of us will get to see.

“Dangerous” Dan Spivey vs. “Powerhouse” Tim Parker

Parker tries to take it to Spivey, but Spivey puts a stop to it real quick with a massive lariat and sidewalk slam. Parker tries a crossbody, Spivey catches him and counters into a backbreaker. Side Slam ends it, Parker taking the move ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK. Spivey didn’t even bother removing his entrance gear again. (1:35)

-Footage from Butch Reed and Teddy Long turning on Ron Simmons at the Omni house show from February.

-Schiavone is with Ron Simmons at ringside. Simmons talks about being ashamed to face his family after getting whipped by Reed and Long, and his family threatened to beat him up even worse if he doesn’t get his revenge. DANG.

The Young Pistols (Tracy Smothers & Steve Armstrong) vs. Jim Boss & Pat Rose

The Pistols’ theme reminds me of Koko B. Ware’s “Birdman” song and although I love this team I got a little disappointed when Koko didn’t make his entrance. Pistols control the whole thing with their fast-paced double-team moves, and Armstrong picks up the pin after a flying clothesline from the top. Boss did a great job selling for them. (1:39)

Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, and The Junkyard Dog remind everyone they’re the Six Man Tag Team Champions, but quickly change gears and put over their friend Brian Pillman.

Sid Vicious vs. David Isley

Brian Pillman cuts an insert promo on Sid, wanting revenge. Still not really selling whatever injury he’s supposed to have. Sid beats the heck out of Isley, including a chairshot that THE REF DOESN’T DQ HIM FOR. Power Bomb ends it. Sid previously wrecked Isley EARLIER TODAY on Power Hour, so it’s like a 2 for 1. (1:25)

Sid’s EMT geeks put Isley on the stretcher, Sid dumps it over for extra oomph. He rules the world, in case you forgot.

Alexandra York renames Terry Taylor into Terrance Taylor and introduces the York Foundation’s bodyguard/also manager Mr. Hughes.

“Beautiful” Bobby Eaton vs. “The Computerized Man of the 1990s” Terrance Taylor [w/ Alexandra York & Mr. Hughes]

Loud “Bobby” chants for the Beautiful one. Eaton reverses a corner Irish whip; Taylor springs out and drops him with a clothesline. Eaton fights back with right hooks, Taylor puts a stop to it with a kick and a kneedrop. Eaton counters a backdrop with a kick, using so much force he knocks himself over as well. Taylor tosses Eaton to the floor, Eaton slaps York’s COM-PEW-TOR and breaks it to her horror. “Nature Boy” Buddy Landell comes out to try and fix the COM-PEW-TOR (?). Landell tries to interfere, Taylor hits him on accident, and Eaton gets the pin with an O’Connor Roll that POPS THAT CROWD. I enjoyed it for what it was, especially Eaton SLAPPING that terrible word processer laptop thing York uses. That’s all it took to break her magic machine. (4:00)

  • RATING: **1/4

-Schiavone is ringside with Big Josh and “Wildfire” Tommy Rich. Josh is having a great time being a wrestler and says Rich is going to get him one of them girls with facepaint (lady with makeup). K.

Brad Armstrong vs. Barry Windham

Armstrong with a pair of armdrags to start and an armbar to start. Brian Pillman cuts ANOTHER insert promo, challenging Windham to a match. Armstrong catches Windham with a flying forearm and goes back to the armbar. Windham belts Armstrong with a right hand, taking over on offense just in time for a “BARRY SUCKS” chant from the crowd. Windham reverses an Irish whip and connects with an inverted atomic drop followed by a belly-to-back suplex. Windham connects with the Superplex and it’s all over. Armstrong is a bit higher on the enhancement food chain, so it was a somewhat competitive match. A competitive squash, if you will. (2:55)

-CLIP: Nikita Koloff attacks Lex Luger at WrestleWar ’91.

-VIDEO: Nikita Koloff lifts his weights in his mysterious dungeon, complete with creepy heel fog.

“The Total Package” Lex Luger is sickened with Koloff’s actions and is ready for Nikita this time as it’ll be face to face. Pretty much the same promo he cut on a different episode, but this time it was taped backstage and more measured.

“White Lightning” Tim Horner vs. “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair

Flair comes out to DIFFERENT entrance music and it’s weird as f*ck. Sounded like royalty-free Star Wars music. Flair chops Horner, Horner fights back with a series of right hands and a back bodydrop. Horner rolls Flair up, Flair kicks out and stops his momentum with a Greco-Roman poke to the eye. Horner tries to flip out of a suplex but lands awkwardly on his left knee, giving The Nature Boy a limb to work on. Horner tries some corner mount rights, Flair quickly counters with an inverted atomic drop and goes back to work on his left knee. Flair locks in the Figure Four, and Horner manages to fight through the pain and get to the ropes! That’s surprising. Flair with an atomic drop to the knee and applies the Figure Four a second time. Out comes Sting who PULLS HORNER OUT OF THE RING and out of Flair’s grasp. Sting calls for help, and a group of refs help Horner out of there. I guess it’s over? (3:53 or so)

Sting gets pulled into the ring and beats the heck out of Flair. Flair rakes the ref’s eyes (?!?) and Sting accidentally dropkicks him out of the ring (?!?). Sting with a Stinger Splash and El Gigante comes out to wake the ref up. He can’t so he COUNTS A PIN FOR STING and the BELL RINGS. Sting gets another fake pin on Flair, with El Gigante making the count once more to hype his special ref involvement in their cage match coming up at the Omni that most of us will never see all of us since we don’t live in Georgia. That’s the end of the show, folks.

*****

FINAL THOUGHTS: A breezy Worldwide with some competitive squashes and a fun Eaton/Taylor match. It sucks that we’re in the era of hyping non-televised house shows because the TV has done a good job of making me want to actually see the show they’re selling. Had to be frustrating for non-local fans. Once again Gordon Solie is the MVP here, bringing his SUPER PROFESSIONALISM to the goofy proceedings; imagining him choking down his pride while putting over Big Josh is hilarious.

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