[TV Review] Worldwide – 3.23.91

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

This week on Worldwide Tommy Rich pulls double duty in two tag team matches, El Gigante wants something that I couldn’t quite make out (the belt, maybe?), and Ron Simmons wrecks two different fools who try to step to him.

Champion Roll-Call

  • WCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair
  • WCW UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: “The Total Package” Lex Luger
  • WCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION: “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson
  • WCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott Steiner)
  • WCW WORLD SIX-MAN TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Ricky Morton, “Wildfire” Tommy Rich, & The Junkyard Dog

The Lineup

  • CLIP: Flair attacks Gigante (Worldwide – 3.16.91)
  • Dustin Rhodes vs. Joey Maggs
  • PROMO: The York Foundation (Terrance Taylor, Mr. Hughes, & Alexandra York)
  • CLIP: Nikita Koloff’s Dungeon
  • Lex Luger vs. Snake Watson
  • RINGSIDE INTERVIEW: Lex Luger
  • Big Josh & Tommy Rich vs. The State Patrol
  • PROMO: Sid Vicious
  • Terrance Taylor vs. Ricky Nelson
  • PROMO: Sting & El Gigante
  • Ricky Morton vs. Barry Windham
  • Junkyard Dog & Tommy Rich vs. The Fabulous Freebirds
  • Ron Simmons vs. Rip Rogers

 

*****

-Clip of Ric Flair’s attack on El Gigante from last week’s show.

“The Natural” Dustin Rhodes vs. “Jumping” Joey Maggs

Rhodes works the arm, giving Schiavone and Solie to go into overdrive putting The Natural over. The crowd is chanting something, but I can’t tell what to be honest. Maggs still has the best match of the month as of this writing, I doubt this will top it. Rhodes definitely knows what armbars and wristlocks are, I think it’s okay for him to start doing other stuff. Please. Maggs dodges a corner splash and rolls Rhodes up, but The Natural kicks out at 1 and hits his weak lariat followed by the Bulldog for the win. At least Maggs got a pinfall attempt in. (4:17)

Alexandra York is here for a York Foundation progress report, backed by Terrance Taylor and Mr. Hughes. The report? They’re doing well. Tremendous report. Taylor says the Foundation is rock solid, unlike Doom. Well yeah they broke up.

Nikita Koloff lifts weights in his dungeon. LUUUUUU-GAH.

“The Total Package” Lex Luger vs. Snake Watson

Watson may have mustache, but Luger has the strength so it’s The Total Package who gets the victory via Torture Rack. (1:55)

-Luger is ringside with Schiavone. Luger tells Nikita to stay in his dungeon for a long long time to get ready for The Total Package. Luger dares Nikita to come to get it.

Big Josh & “Wildfire” Tommy Rich vs. The State Patrol (Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker & Lt. James Earl Wright)

The State Patrol were on the losing end of last week’s eight-man tag team match and are looking for revenge, probably. Once again let me remind you Rich is 1/3 of the Six-Man Tag Team Champions who have only made one actual defense of the title back at WrestleWar ’91.

The State Patrol cut a pre-recorded insert promo, calling out their desire to win the (vacant?) U.S. Tag Team Titles. That’s cool and all but where’s my Magnum Force promo?!? They are the true uncrowned U.S. Tag Team Champions in my headcanon. Josh and Rich are in control for the first couple of minutes until a cheapshot from Wright. State Patrol goes on a fluid string of double team offense, Rich counters a backdrop with an elbow and Josh goes WILD on these rulebreakers. Rich quickly tags in, Josh hits Wright with a double axhandle and Rich connects with a flying Thesz Press for the win. Competitive in theory. (4:00)

  • RATING: *

Sid Vicious calls Brian Pillman a coward, and will make him pay if he sticks his nose in his business again.

“The Computerized Man of the 1990s” Terrance Taylor [w/ Alexandra York & Mr. Hughes] vs. Ricky Nelson

York types away on her COM-PEW-TOR as Taylor dismantles Nelson, despite some babyface fire from the mulleted jobber. Taylor hits a Slingshot Suplex, which Schiavone crazily mispronounces as a “slingslot sluplex”. Easy on the sauce, man. Five Arm finishes it. Once again Mr. Hughes does nothing. (3:49)

Sting and El Gigante throw shade at Ric Flair. Gigante WANTS THE BELT.

Ricky Morton vs. Barry Windham

Morton is taking this match in place of Brian Pillman, who says he isn’t medically cleared via insert promo. Seemed fine in the other matches he’s been wrestling in but hey whatever. Windham in control early, drilling Morton with a belly-to-back suplex. Morton tries to fight back, Windham rakes the eyes and connects with a scoop slam followed by an elbowdrop for the 1…2…Morton kicks out. Morton tries to fight back again, Windham buries his face into the canvas for the disrespect. Morton counters a backdrop attempt with a face slam and catches Windham with a crossbody but here comes Sid Vicious to interfere and cause a DQ. Not much of a match honestly which is disappointing, but Morton always rules at being a plucky babyface. (3:36)

  • RATING: *

Vicious drops Morton with a Power Bomb (the sh*tty kneeling version) and Windham brings in the gurney. Brian Pillman shows up to even the odds, clearing the ring and throwing the gurney at Vicious and Windham. Pillman and officials check on Morton as we go to commercial.

The Fabulous Freebirds and Diamond Dallas Page enter the ring for the next match. Page introduces the road manager Big Daddy Dink, who will handle business while DDP hangs out backstage smoking cigars or whatever he was doing in 1991.

The Junkyard Dog & “Wildfire” Tommy Rich vs. The Fabulous Freebirds (Michael “P.S.” Hayes & Jimmy “Jam” Garvin) [w/ Big Daddy Dink]

Ricky Morton was supposed to do double duty but was taken out via Power Bomb so now it’s Rich doing the honors. Makes sense since they are all Six Man Tag Team Champions, but not a fair trade.

Rich and JYD control things early, working on Garvin’s arm. JYD tries to do his crawling headbutt thing, Garvin immediately bails to the floor to get advice from Dink. Rich goes for a series of covers, Hayes breaks things up. All four men in the ring, ref gets distracted. Rich hits Garvin with a Thesz Press, Hayes stomps him in the back of the head and Garvin covers for the 1…2…3. Well that was a waste of time. (3:13)

  • RATING: ¾*

Ron Simmons vs. Rip Rogers

Rogers slaps Simmons, Simmons unloads on him and connects with a powerslam. Rogers bails to the floor and tries to bail, Simmons doesn’t let him and introduces him to the guardrail. Rogers with rights, Simmons with a military press and he (nation of) dominates, winning with a spinebuster. (2:09)

Theodore R. Long brings out a Masked Man to attack Simmons, Simmons easily wrecks him and unmasks him, revealing Marc (Mark) Mero. Schiavone has no idea who he is despite him being on TV the past few weeks. Rude. Long bails, Simmons talks trash in the camera and exits.

-Schiavone announces that Morton and Pillman will team against Vicious and Windham next week, plus Owen Hart will be in action. OWEN HART IN WCW, MAN. What a weird thing. Solie has no idea who the Masked Man was either. Poor Mero.

*****

FINAL THOUGHTS: No memorable matches or angles from this one, save for Marc Mero doing a masked man thing for…reasons. I’m actually interested to see if that leads to Johnny B. Badd, or if this was a one-off thing that’s never mentioned again. Long is his original manager so it would make sense but I thought we were too early in the timeline for Badd to make his debut.

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